Lindsay Gurka

It’s been busy over this way, but for all the sleepiness, the planning, the running around and figuring out new routines that change from week to week, I’m enjoying our summer. For a bit there was getting upset about the lack of writing time. That was, until I finished the most recent book I was reading about writing. Because I do that. Read books about writing in the hopes that it encourages me to write more, establish a solid practice, actually do something or create something that I want to publish, that sort of thing.

Anyways, I made the decision this year that instead of blowing through the writing books, I’d take my time. I would read a few pages, or a chapter at most, in one sitting and then do whatever it called for afterward. So if there were journal prompts or calls to action, I’d actually do them. It’s easy for me to read quickly through things, think about what I read, and then move onto the next thing, but I realized that in doing so, I was completely missing the point. Couple things on this is that everyone has their own process, so if reading quickly through these books works, that’s awesome, but if you’re like me and finding yourself in the same spot every single year and wondering why you haven’t moved forward toward your goals, give this approach a try. The second point to this couple is that I totally understand that that’s what these books are asking for, but I had to take this to an extreme in order for things to finally settle in.

I just finished reading the first book this past week and it’s taken me months. Mind you, I had surgery and completely underestimated the brain fog aftermath, but the work involved in it was pretty hard for me. It was the best book I’ve read so far on writing and establishing a solid practice, don’t get me wrong, but the work that it entailed was a lot. It was great, but there was a lot of internal bullshit that I had to face in order to get things going. And even after I had things going and then life happened and I dropped it all, it was this book and going back to it that helped me get back on track. It’s helped me figure out what I want to do, how I want to do it, and what works for me. This book has also taught me what it looks like to allow myself some grace. Something I need to do more of, but I’m still learning and growing and figuring this all out.

If you’re a writer or dream of writing but are afraid to, this is absolutely the book to pick up right now and get to work on. And go slow. I’m telling you now, it took me at least six months to do it right. That might be too much for some, but that’s what worked for me. And each lesson, each chapter, it all came at the exactly moment I needed it to, it was incredible.

It’s called Intuitive Writing: The Remedy for Writer’s Block and the Secret to Authentic Communication by Jacqueline Fisch.

From this book, I’ve come back to this blog. I’ve thought a lot about what I’m going to do with it, struggled with what to share and what to say and if I even have anything worth sharing into the world through this tiny slice of the World Wide Web. That? It’s going to change as I change, grow as I grow, and I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I won’t be able to nail down this Jello-like beast. So, for now, it’s going to be all about finishing my first novel. I’ll be sharing the books I read for the research on it, the idea I had when I first began it, the nature of the project that it came out of, and all the things I’m doing to get it done. I made myself a promise this year that I would have my first novel finished and submitted for publishing. Mostly because it was the big 4-0 and I wanted to prove to myself that I could accomplish this huge thing, but now it’s changed a bit. It’s not going to just be me hiding in the house and staring at the blank screen wishing for my protagonist to do something on the page for me. I have to stop being so antsy about sharing my work, scared about what people will think, and mostly, I have to stop wishing to do the work and actually get that shit done.

So, if you’re still with me this far into this fucking weird post, thank you. I’ll be writing more in the days to come and trying desperately to not overthink what exactly I’m doing here.

With Love,
Lindsay

P.S. If you’re easily offended by swears, I apologize in advance. I have a terrible habit of using ‘fuck’ like a comma in real life, so just know that I’ve done some major editing in this space and sometimes I just have to let some of those words fly to stay as authentic to myself as I possibly can. 🙂