Lindsay Gurka

This is such a silly thing, but I figure since this is a whole blog/website-thing dedicated to my writing, it’s probably not such a strange topic.

I played with the idea of using one for a long time and would go back and forth with trying to figure out one that felt right, and then what it’d feel like to see my real name in print on a bookshelf in a Barnes and Noble. I would love to use my real name, like here, but I don’t know with fiction. There are so many different things to consider. Like what if I’m doing a book signing and I sign my name the way I would a check, and then there it is, my signature is out there in the world and it’s so much easier to have that whole identity fraud thing happen?

So, I came up with a pen name that I felt suited me, but the more I used it, the less connected to it I felt. Then I started playing with different pen names to use and finally ended up right in the same place as before where I was contemplating even using one to begin with. I thought maybe I could write some stuff under one name and other stuff under my real name. Maybe that could work? But all it did was make me worry more about the damn name and how to market and how do I even tell people about it without giving myself away.

It was so fucking dumb and I got so fed up with this internal debate that today I decided to throw it all out. I’ve been over here deleting accounts and changing names back and doing all this shit to just be me. It’s scary. SO scary. But I have enough to juggle and I really don’t want to sit here and wonder what I should write under which name and what do I even say when people ask me what books I’ve written? Would I have to go through the catalogue of what I wrote and what other me wrote? I give up. That’s too much, too complicated, and I do not have the time, energy, or patience to deal with any of it.

So, here we go. If you know me in real life, I hope you don’t think less of me because of the things I write. I love horror. I love thrillers. I love writing shit where it makes people wonder what’s really going on in my head. I figured I’d be better off behind a mask, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how exactly I’d manage all that.

To be quite honest, I’d much rather be writing. Here it goes.

I have a Patreon where you can download my short stories and subscribe to my account. I’m still working out the kinks in there and figuring out what exactly the writing/posting schedule is going to look like over there, so with the pen name debacle complete, I’ll have more brain space to work on that side of my internet lawn.

I also have an Instagram account and an X account that I’m going to start posting in regularly. Then I’ll somehow, probably with magic and a whole lot of outside help, make all this stuff link to each other at some point.

Thanks for reading through my chaos,

Love, Lindsay